Turning Back the Clock:
A Plan for Peace, Prosperity, and Safety
by Auren Hoffman
To appease early morning commuters, we turn the clocks back every Fall. Like many of you, I am always extremely happy when I find out that I could sleep for an extra hour. Unfortunately, in the Spring we set the clocks ahead an hour ("spring forward, fall back") and end up losing valuable sleep.
But during the extra hour of sleep last Fall, I did more that just sleep - I stumbled onto Hoffman's Postulate which says: "An extra hour of sleep every week increases productivity."
After coming to terms with my new discovery, I set about creating the Hoffman Plan - daylight savings every week! That's right, every Sunday, at 2 am, we turn back our clocks an hour. This will do five things:
1. Increase Sleep
As stated before, an extra hour of sleep will do a lot of good for a lot of people (especially insomniacs and people who always say "sleep on it"). So, with daylight savings hour every week, you can use Sundays to catch up on your sleep and still wake up in time to catch the East Coast football games or the Sunday morning politico talks.
2. Increase Nightlife
With the Hoffman Plan, business hours would be during the dark for half the year and during the light for the other half year. Since there are 24 hours in a day and 52 weeks in a year, every type of day will happen at least twice a year. Many people are afraid to go out at night because the dark is not conducive to a safe environment. However, with the Hoffman Plan, many of the nights will be lit by the sun and socializing after work and school will be commonplace.
3. Increase Safety
Since a large portion of business will be done while it's dark outside, the government will be more inclined to buy brighter streetlights and sidewalk lights. These new lights will scare away criminals (and also provide growth to vegetation which will cure our ozone problem).
4. More Sunlight Baseball
To make money, baseball has to be played after work so fans can go to the stadium. However, many fans and players would be much happier if they could see baseball by sunlight rather than by artificial light. Of course, the electric companies might be a little upset.
5. Make International Calling Easier
Since the US would be the only country bold enough to implement the Hoffman Plan, calling your relatives in distant countries would become much easier because for part of the year you would be on a relatively similar time schedule. This way, you can talk to your grandparents in Moscow without having to wake up at 6 am. Of course, with all the changing times, you may never remember what time it is in other countries - but every great idea has its drawbacks...
Please call your Congressman today and advocate for the Hoffman Plan - the ultimate in daylight savings!
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